Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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