Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize