Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
