so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
