She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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