Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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