i just google imaged poop.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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