Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
