Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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