But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
