break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
