help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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