sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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