Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
