He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
