You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
