the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
