I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize