I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
