I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
