I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
