no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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