No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
