She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
