My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
