We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
