WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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