508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
