We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can feel your judgement through the phone
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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