There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize