we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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