??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
