they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just forgot I was standing up.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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