before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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