You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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