Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
