so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
