you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
