the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
