thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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