Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize