also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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