I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
