did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
