I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
