I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
