The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize