There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
