Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
