Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
