i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
