I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
