I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
