her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
