apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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