Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
