Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
