get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
