yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize