Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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