Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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