I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
