i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
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