this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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