the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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