I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize