Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
