Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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