I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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