I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
